Archive for December, 2006

Love is the Drug

December 6, 2006

Dear Readers:

Getting back to my science roots for a bit, here is an essay I wrote a while back.  Due to popular request and a discussion on another board, I am reprinting it here:


(Note: I must give a hat-tip to Pat Allen, the author of Getting to I Do, who presented aspects of the following material in a wonderful lecture I attended. I also attribute her book and insights to the fact I was engaged within 6 months after hearing her speak).

Birth control and abortion options, which have expanded considerably in the past 40 years and have been promoted by feminists as emancipating for women, has given both sexes the mistaken notion that they can have brief sexual encounters with serial partners with no consequences.

For men, that remains somewhat true — or as true as it has been throughout history. However, for women, that remains as untrue today as it has been since Eve (for “intelligent designers”) or Lucy (for Darwinian evolutionists). The reason is a wonderful biochemical — oxytocin.

Essentially, if you were ever wondering about a “love drug” (i.e., a compound that when taken, makes people fall-in-love), it already has been created. It is oxytocin. When pumped into the bloodstream, it gives people the warm-and-fuzzies and increases the emotional bond between that person and the second individual (whose presence is stimulating the production of this hormone).

During the three-million-years or so of human evolution (note – my religious friends, I am a scientist, so I will take the scientific perspective for the duration of this essay; please do not take it as a sign of disrespect), the female system has been designed to begin a cascade of oxytocin production — when being intimate with a male AND when breast-feeding an infant. On the other hand, human males have very limited oxytocin production (and actually release some of the little oxytocin they produce when “involved” with the woman of the moment).

Now, oxytocin is a wonderful thing. It energizes you, and makes you feel good about life. It helps stimulate all sorts of good actions in the immune system, as well as other biochemical processes in the human body. Personally, after accutane and strawberry margaritas, oxytocin is my favorite chemical (and I have a graduate degree in biochemistry, so I know chemicals).

However, as with everything, there is a downside. Once you produce oxytocin, you want to do everything in your power to keep up the production levels. For example, have you ever heard stories about women who nurse their babies for many years (until 3, 4 or 5 years in age)? This is related to the fact these women want to continue generating oxytocin (even though they will have other rationalizations).

The same thing is true following intimate relations. Oxytocin production can be stimulated in a woman through her lover’s voice, scent, sight and touch. That is why a lot of women get very stupid after they have sex with someone. These women will call up frequently. They will steal their lover’s shirts. They will invent excuses to see their lover. Essentially, the more oxytocin these women generate when with their lover (or by talking to him), the more emotionally attached they get.

Now, a couple of points to keep in mind:

* Though men do generate oxytocin, they don’t match the production levels in women.
* As noted before, men can release small amounts of oxytocin into a woman (increasing her “rush), thereby creating more of a bond between them.
* Women will generate fairly substantial amounts the first time they are intimate with anyone (therefore, the biochemical basis for the focus on virginity), and increasing all the affects I have previously described.

This is not necessarily a bad thing, if a woman is involved with a nice man and is in a committed relationship. However, it can really complicate life if those conditions are not met. And, the bad thing about it is, the presence/voice of a lover can trigger oxytocin production for up to 2 YEARS!!!!!!! Basically, to guarantee a man will no longer have an affect on a woman, this woman can never hear/see/touch the man in question for up to 2 full years. Fortunately, once the man is “out of her system”, that same individual tends not to trigger such a production again.

Ever wonder why woman goes back to a man who beats/abuses her? Do you ever wonder why a girlfriend cannot seem to get over a guy, and will call up is number just to get his answering machine? Do you know a girl who will drive out of her way, to check to see if current/ex boyfriend his home? Yes, people, all-knowing Mutnodjmet has provided you with an answer: OXYTOCIN ([Disclaimer — NO, I HAVE NEVER DONE THE ABOVE, though I will own other stupid acts committed in the name of love ….no, oxytocin production).

Thirty years of birth control and abortion can not get around this three-million-year honing of biochemistry, designed to create strong bonds between a female and her provider (the male) and offspring (her children). To think otherwise is arrogance and/or stupidity.

Therefore, women cannot “hook-up” like men. An intense biochemical bond is formed when women are intimate with men. To break that bond is exceedingly difficult, and places women in the position of having the quench a biochemical reaction, and in doing so, causing both physical and emotional stress that is unnecessary and unhealthy. Casual sex is devastating to women in so many different ways, and to pretend that women can have serial sex with many partners is foolish.

PS. As an aside, check out the classic video of Bryan Ferry performing “Love is the Drug“.